Trailer Park

Another edition of Trailer Park, where I take a look at some of the latest trailers that have come out and grade them. Let's get started, kids...

CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE

Crank was a great little action flick that came out a couple of years ago where Jason Statham (my vote to play Jack Bauer's long lost cousin in the movie) plays a man who must keep his adrenaline up to complete a mission unless he dies. It seemed, though, at the end of the first film, that he was dead...



...apparently not. This trailer has everything you could want in a red band trailer, which means NSFW, kids. Dwight Yokam slapping a hooker's ass, a lot of curse words, crap blowing up, Amy Smart looking hot, and so much more.

This trailer got me really REALLY excited for this movie which is supposed to come out April 17 of this year.

GRADE: A

G-FORCE

I have no idea what G-Force...let's see...



...cue Jonas Brothers song.

To be honest, I have a thing for kids movies. Still, as a 21 year old. I know, it's kinda sad. But, this seems a little unoriginal and ridiculous, doesn't it? Anyway, it looks alright and the awesome cast of voices (Jon Favreau, Tracy Morgan) and live actioneers (Zach Galifanakis, Will Arnett, Bill Nighy) might make for some fun times. The trailer kind of left me luke warm though. We'll see more when G-Force unleashes its adorableness on us July 24 of this year.

GRADE: B
Note: this film could have EASILY gotten a higher grade, but it received an automatic half-grade demotion for using "Don'tcha".

TWO LOVERS

This is, according to him, Joaquin Phoenix's last movie. A romance with him and Gwenyth Paltrow? Might have wanted to leave on something better. But, alas, Paltrow earned my geek love after perfecting Pepper Potts in Iron Man, so, let's give it a shot.



I just can't get into movies like Two Lovers. Too bad for this poor schmuck that he has to decide between two gorgeous women. And the filmmakers want me to, somehow, sympathize with him. I was given nothing in this trailer that made me want to do that...or see this when it comes out February 13 of this year.

GRADE: B-
It was a pretty trailer, but the movie just doesn't look appealing at all. I hope that Phoenix is lying about quitting movies for a music career, because I would hate for him to go out on this.

STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI

If you've kept up with movies or video games since you were a kid, you know a couple of things.

1) The first Street Fighter film was made in 1994 and is generally considered to be a GIANT piece of horsecrap.

2) Street Fighter is a legendary gaming series that has, in a way, been dormant on the next gen consoles. And...

3) Chun Li was always one of the hottest video game characters around.

This films seeks to restart a franchise that never really started to begin with and hopefully spawn some pretty sweet movies. Let's check it out...





So, it's in Chinese. Whatever. While a lot of video game geeks will be up in arms about not being an entire Street Fighter movie, with the whole cast of characters, I would like for them to also thing about how they're geekgasming over the reported Avengers flick. That film will not be possible without starting successful franchises like Iron Man, Hulk, and Captain America not to mention the introduction of Nick Fury into the film's universe. I don't know exactly that that is what they're doing here, but I think it's a good plan. Don't waste your money on a big budget picture based on a concept that you KNOW failed once before you find out if people will see cutie Kristen Kruek as Chun-Li.

Also, keep in mind it's an origin story and, as we've seen in this past year, just because we're seeing the beginnings of a character doesn't mean we won't see some of their cohorts along the way.

As far as the trailer goes, though, it was pretty generic. I would have liked a bit more dialogue, which gives me pause to think that Chun-Li has a crappy script.

GRADE: B
I'm on the fence about this flick still, but this trailer took away some of my misgivings.

Well, that's it for this edition of the Trailer Park. Be back soon!

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