Trailer Park #1

This is something I tried to start on my MySpace blog and it didn't really pan out.

I'm gonna rock some movie trailer analysis, albeit on this slow connection in China. Here we go.

1. Felon- Val Kilmer, Stephen Dorrrfff, that cute chick who died on 24 last season, if not two seasons ago.

Dude protects his home, gets sent to jail, has to deal with the harsh realities of prison. Personally, I don't know why someone would tread over this ground after it's been done so many times. From the trailer, things seem kinda predictable and bland.

GRADE: B- Normally a C, but you get the Kilmer Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Bump.

2. Quarantine- Jennifer Carpenter from Dexter and some others, including Jonathan Schaech (??) from That Thing You Do!


So, this is Cloverfield, minus the monster, plus a zombie disease with some torture porn thrown in to make it marketable to the kids out there. I like the lead, but it's not enough to make me go see this. If there's one genre of movies I wish we could get rid of, it's these "Saw" rip-offs. Kudos on copying Abrams with the handi-cam action (I especially loved the line, "TAPE EVERYTHING! DO YOU HEAR ME?!" I filled in, "YEAH, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T WE HAVE NO MOVIE!"), but just not buying this.

GRADE: D+ Barely passing, but on thin thin ice.

3. Rain of Madness. The best part about this is that it isn't even real. It's a fake documentary that ties in to "Tropic Thunder" the new Ben Stiller, Jack Black, RDJ (That's Robert Downey, Jr. for those who aren't hip to the lingidy.) flick about a film crew that sets out to make a war movie and ends up...wait for it...fighting in an actual war! It's "Galaxy Quest", but it looks damned funny and might mark the return of Ben Stiller.

So, in honor of this fake documentary that chronicles the struggles of making "Tropic Thunder" I shall review the trailer whole-heartedly.

This is f***ing hilarious. Seriously. RDJ spouting out about 1973 espadrilles? Awesome. If this is a hint to what the movie is going to be, this will be absolutely hilarious.

GRADE: A

4. Hell Ride We've got Michael Madsen, Milo from 24, Carradine, Hopper and just a regular bunch of badasses.


This Tarantino-produced flick looks like a lot of fun and might appeal to some people if it can get the play in theatres. Tarantino's name should help, like it did with "Hero", but, to be honest, I don't know if people want more "Grindhouse"ish fare. I mean, it was a colossal failure. But, I'm definitely there, because sometimes a movie just has to be a good time.

GRADE: B+ Let's hope this red band trailer points to some good stuff.

Well, ladies and germs, I'm here in China. I'll be skipping back and forth from this blog to, most of the time, my blog for class over at philattheolympics.blogspot.com. So...check that out.

China is very exciting and terrifying all at the same time. The fact that I don't understand ANYTHING cannot be underestimated. It's truly frightening. If I ever end up in a place where I don't know where I am, I'm truly and absolutely screwed.

More later I'm sure, just wanted to check in.

Bored

I am really bored! Bought a jacket from the Gap today. w00t for that. Through the boredom, though, I do have some thoughts on TV finale season.

TV

On Monday, we had the Bones finale, and boy did it have a lead in from last week. Booth? Shot? Say it ain't so! Well, all was right in Brennen and Booth world, but Gormagon needed to be stopped...or at least revealed before the season finale. If the writers' strike had one lasting reprecussion, it is that it ruined any of the overarcing storylines that some shows center a season around, like Bones. Now, granted, the show doesn't need it. But, they spent two months worth of episodes setting it up and then had to wrap it up a little too quickly.

The best part is that it worked beatufully. I totally bought Zack as the apprentice, as long as you fill in some parts. 1) He was mentally wounded after coming back from Iraq. The timing was weird, but, remember he came back a little off. He got back to normal, but it took some time. Something changed while he was there and then changed back...most likely after Gormagon got a hold of him. 2) He was ALWAYS the impressionable one! Totally the poster child for joining a cult, minus the lack of logic thing. But, sometimes, an abundance of logic isn't a good thing.

Good way to end the season. I was thinking about this the other day. There are three types of season endings.

1. The Cliffhanger. This is where a certain event puts things into jeopardy. Notable recent examples are Edie hanging herself in Desperate Housewives and Sara almost dying on CSI.

2. The Character-Changer. This is where something happens that, even though earth-shattering, will change things in more of a long-term perspective. There's no immediacy connected to it. Look at most Grey's season finales, also House and NCIS, which we'll talk about in a sec.

3. Business as usual. Rare anymore, but this is were nothing matters for next season. It's just like another day.

So, while Zack leaving the team (and, I would assume, the other young squint who testified against Zack's evidence in Brennan's dad's trial might sub in) is HUGE, the real ending is wondering for a few months what will happen to the rest of the team emotionally.

More later...oddly tired.

I'm watching the draft for the 2008 season of the Championship Gaming Series. I need a life.

So, I didn't post yesterday.

Because I have an Xbox now.

GTA.

Nuff said.

I Have Been Remiss in my Blogging Responsibilities

This is for forgetting to post at least ONE American Gladiators pic from last night's post. I mean, with amazingness like that, how could I not put up a photo? BTW, FCITA(ITW)RN #3-6, Crush, Jet, Venom and Phoenix.

It's raining like a son of a bitch over here in A-Town. Not really a ton going on. Hopefully, more to post tomorrow.

Why am I so tired?

It was kind of a day of nothingness. I trekked back up to Lafayette to drop off some Beijing stuff and hung out with Krystle for a bit.

TV

Tonight was the start of a new season of American Gladiators. I freaking love this show. It's probably one of the stupidest things on TV right now, but I can't help but love it. They HAVE addressed some things from last season and added/changed some shit.

• New gladiators. Obviously we have last years winners, Monica and Evan. Monica is now known as Jet and Evan is Gabby McFaggyPants. Oh wait, that's just my name for him. He's Rocket now. But, as the season progresses, we are going to see more new Gladiators, like Phoenix who we saw tonight. It was cool, but pretty random. I mean, all of a sudden a kinda gothy hottie with these fake black wings comes soaring through the air.
• New games. One new game we saw tonight was something called Vertigo, where a contestant races a Gladiator on these bendy, platform thingies. It's interesting, but it's hard to get a gauge on it because Phoenix seemed like the event was made for her and blew both contenders out of the water. But, it's new and will take a couple viewings to get a true sense of. We also saw a game called Rocketball. And, while it may sound like a shitty Roger Corman flick, it's actually a very cool, if not physically challenging game. Basically, it's Powerball but, instead of running on the ground and trying to score, they hit a button and get launched in the air, having to make a basket while dodging a Gladiator. This game looks like a lot of fun, but isn't really a tough one. It's not about muscles as much as it is about timing and strategy. Literally, if you went like you were pushing the button and could convince the Gladiator you were so they could get the timing off, you are GOLDEN! It looks, though, that more events are to come including something where they roll around on the ceiling and...dare I say it...ATLASPHERE! Can't wait for that.
• Changes to old games. Most games got expanded, if nothing else. You could tell NBC gave them more money and space to work with, so they made things like Hang Tough and Powerball larger. They also added things to the Eliminator and took some of the stuff away that was pointless, like the barrel roll. Plus, if you fall off the hand bike, you fall into a Chuck-E-Cheese ball pit, something a little harder and not as much of an incentive to just give up.

It will be interesting to see what is to come this season. I like the strategy of bringing new shit out gradually this season. The only thing that i question is new Gladiators. I mean, two weren't enough? I guess we'll see!